No, not caused by the so called 'Economic Downturn'.
In short, I've finished school. Finished Pre-Trade training. In my third year of Avionics Technician. Changed over a bit to Bench Technician (Radios for now). Moved out of home. Renting my own place. Got my own bills to pay and my own shopping to buy.

School was strict. Very strict. One was meant to talk how 'they' wanted one to talk. Think in the approved manner. And never. Ever. act like a child lest 'they' catch sight of one. I hated it, but it was a substantial factor in my upbringing and a major reason why I am who I am. By school being what it was, I stubbornly went in the other direction. I fiercely defend my freedom of speech, my freedom to do what I want, and my freedom to believe what I believe.

I am glad I've graduated from Year 12 and I never want to go back there again.

I'm 19. Twenty in May. Typing that really reminds me of my longevity so far. Nearly a proper adult. No longer a teenager. Reading my past journals, as scarce as they may be, makes me realise how far I've come. And how little my core values have changed.

I hate driving. I hate the whole system of being so close to another person, with the ability to easily and quickly kill them and I faster that anyone can blink, with a machine which is trying to be a padded cell on wheels. And failing.

But I do like the extra mobility that a car can provide. I'm proud of my choice of car. Even though cars are inherently unsafe. I've managed to buy my parents car. A 2002 Ford Falcon BA XT. Not too luxurious. Not too shit-box-y. Reading through the manual gives me a little bit of comfort that the extra money I spent to get that car will buy me some luck if I do lose control one day.

I've visited my Uncle (Who was holding me not long after I was born. And somehow I've somehow managed to channel spontaneously.) and his partner (Who is very beautiful and smells of patchouli) in the Atherton Tablelands for the first time in years. Proving that I can make the trip, and has bolstered my confidence that I will make the trip again. Soon.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I fought so fiercely for freedom in school. And I won.

As recursive as it may sound. I am free to be as free as I desire.

On the one hand this is what I wanted. I love it. On the other, it's a little scary. I have to say to myself, "OK. This is it. You've gotten past the training area, with its strict rules and regulations. Now you're onto the next level. You've been planted in this blank world with nothing but what you have in your head. But be wary. One false move in training meant having to try again. Now it means death. That's quite a big jump, but you can do it. Just don't screw up."
Then there's me wishing for a shotgun and a torch, "Yeah, thanks."

Carefully, I must walk my path towards my goal (Whatever that might be), and not get caught up in worthless, pointless pursuits.

All of this hasn't come to me easily. My first days (OK months) in my new home haven't been that easy to choreograph. Staying up waaay too late with work the next morning. Not going shopping on the right nights. Trying not to get sucked in by the broadband drug. Having no idea what the first power bill will look like (I still don't know). Doing all those things and more while trying to figure the above (and more) out.

I have drifted away from my friends. I have pruned them down to about 3. That's as many as I can handle right now. I have no need for more, though if someone out there does want to contact me, I won't ignore them, just that I am a bit burnt out taking the initiative to keep in contact. You know who you are. But don't feel sorry, or guilty. Just call, or write, or email. Make the first step.

I'm lucky in that I don't have to try too hard to keep family close. Long story short. I won a scholarship (money from Jeppesen and RAAA - google them) worth AUD$2500.00 to go towards my apprenticeship. Which really was a wonderful thing. Thank you, very much, to the people who made this possible if you might be reading. Not only that, my parents and I got an 'all-expenses-paid' trip to the Hyatt Regency in Coolum (Think PGA tournament) for the annual RAAA conference. Wearing my first suit, I got to address some 500 people from the aviation industry (Shell, Embraer, ATR, CASA, Pratt & Whitney, Bombardier among others.) and thank Jeppesen and RAAA for the fantastic prize. Not only that, but I was there, with Mum & Dad side-by-side, while those same people came up and congratulated me, gave me offers, talked to me, a young beginner in their industry. What an entrance! They were amazed at what I'd done. What I plan to do. Who I am. Who my parents are. How they managed to raise someone like me. How much we loved each other.

In the months leading up to the event, I was nervous as all hell about my speech. For brief, irrational moments considering blowing the whole thing off. But on the night, the speech was perfect. My delivery, perfect. I even had to pause midway. I had made a good joke. It was amazing. I couldn't stop smiling. The man underneath the banner is the Manager of Jeppesen Australia Richard Low, and the other one mid-blink is CEO of Regional Aviation Association of Australia Paul Tyrrell. Both of whom signed my certificate, and therefore am very very grateful to.

Well, I didn't really make the effort to shorten that story at all! But maybe through that you can understand how close a family we are. And it's relatively effortless to do.

I'm pretty sure they regard that night as one of the greatest nights of their lives.

I know I do.



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To be continued...

P.S: Here is the gallery of that night from the official website. Maybe you can get a taste of what it was like.